It’s common for a man that struggles with relationships to consider females not only objects of desire but also frustrating.
Desperate to find expression, he tries to bring order to his life by dominating difficult women. (An outlandish feat, but one that he engages in nonetheless.)
But this same female-identified dude also fears other males and secretly covets their easy masculinity. He, as the familiar saying goes, wants to be them. Though rarely, and only when cornered, does his jealousy manifest itself.
He is loath to meet masculine force head-to-head and often relies on passive-aggressive tactics to undermine the next man’s goals or position. I know about this intimately, having experienced it firsthand on more than one job. (This is why you must get your money right. You never know when you’ll have to leave a position.)
As despicable as this kind of male can be, he’s everywhere. And you must deal with him in a calculated manner, flipping the script on his microaggressions and narcissistic attacks. This means understanding your adversary and identifying/exploiting his weaknesses.
The hater sees other men as threats and pits himself against women because he views them as the real prize. He can be taken out, and you should never shy away from defending your integrity. But you don’t be a savage about it. A reactionary response only gives manipulators fuel.
This dude wants to be a man but wants to get women. Conflicted, he’s stuck in emotional quicksand. He has a natural affinity for women, seeking their approval, even though his interactions with females underscore his inadequacy.
Believing that men and women are basically the same, the simp willingly shares his feelings. He craves female understanding even if it means relinquishing his self-respect. But he doesn’t see it this way. He feels empowered by divulging his secrets and getting dubious insight/wisdom from women, which assuages his flimsy identity.
Seemingly contrary to that is the man always at odds with women. He wants approval but tries to come off macho and defiant. He might even say he doesn’t care about females and can do without the men, which is just empty talk.
He relishes the opportunity to pit himself against women, the attention being worth the tussle. He believes females are allied in a struggle against men, especially men that assert their masculinity. However, this scares him more than it does women. (At least a female, even a dominant one, will respect strong male energy.)
A grown man, however, is confident. He clearly understands the differences between men and women, and while he can appreciate the fairer sex, there is a time and place for his involvement with them.
He doesn’t need to control and dominate females. The women he deals with automatically fall in line because he leaves them no other choice. Women don’t complete him (complement, yes). He’s self-sufficient and responsible.
Everything he wants is in the hands of men. This is what gets him going, and where gains and losses happen. Just like on the gridiron, conflict shapes his character. To succeed, he must go hard, holding nothing back.
He’s always eager to find out if he’s man enough. If not, he’ll figure out why and come back rejuvenated.
He moves forward without an off switch. Engaging men at the highest levels defines him, and he gets respect for being in the game – even more so if he gets the prize!
Actually, the first challenge a man must overcome is himself. He must learn to control his emotions before setting his course and leading other men.
Unfortunately, most guys overlook this point and lack authority, while struggling with their self-image. They believe that being a man is about rigidity and bullying others, or motivating with bluster and intimidation. (Nothing could be further from the truth.)
A man that understands his role accepts what comes his way. His identity is solid and he’s confident when it comes to getting things done.
The next step is to apply this awareness to a larger context.
Having worked on self-control, he’s decisive with other men. He can give and take feedback which helps him to grow, further defining his character and ambitions.
Interacting with women on so-called equal terms doesn’t provide inspiration. This is why it’s essential that a boy-child separate from his mother, and learn the ways of men. When this doesn’t happen, the results are obvious.
For most men, their unhealthy attachment to women is all consuming. They’re gone.
But for the few that can be turned around, the wonders of manhood await. Which, if you think about it, is the way it should be.
Later,
Gary
