It’s easy to fall into the captain save-a-hoe trap of trying to rescue underachievers, especially if you lack confidence and don’t have clear goals.
People that play helpless (passive-aggressive) are masters at boosting your ego. They’ll get you to serve them by using a crafty mix of flattery, guilt and victimization that keeps you longing for a payoff that never comes. (This is called being dragged. Dudes in the friend zone and simps know the feeling well.)
The truth is; if you’ve fallen into this trap, it wasn’t an accident. You were open, and secretly longing to escape personal responsibility by trying to find purpose in saving others.
Alas, you’ll probably live to regret it, but hopefully learn from the hard knocks.
Just keep in mind, every sane person “can do,” and should be held accountable for their actions.
I don’t care how helpless or innocent they appear. Don’t co-sign their fantasies of entitlement. Make them carry their own weight. Demand mutuality. It’s all or nothing!
But first, you have work to do.
You must get control of your emotions and stop seeking approval from others. This will allow you to assert and enforce your expectations.
As you grow, dedicate yourself to developing a 360 perspective and flawless social skills. These attributes will become your catalyst for profound change.
But challenges are never-ending, and the tips below will help you stay on point:
Never project your expectations onto people. Watch how they move, then decide if you want to deal with them.
Focus on your goals and never compromise. By having clear objectives and high standards, you’ll weed out the insincere.
Become result oriented. Never base your assessment of people on feelings or potential, which are arbitrary. Look at outcomes. Are they productive? This is all you should care about.
Let them go! Once you’ve peeped how an individual moves, and it’s not to your liking, cut them loose without mercy. There should be no room in your game for dead weight and sympathy.